Today I throw a curve ball at you. Which is impressive,
considering that I rarely throw anything ever. In my youth, tantrums. In
adulthood, dinner parties. And now this.
A small collection of my favorite drinks in LA. Not necessarily trendy, but they are mine. And you can have them too.
First:
Remember in The Thomas Crown Affair (the re-make, which I argue is just as enjoyable as the original) the green drink? There is a part in that movie when Rene Russo gets a swoony surprise from her adoring and handsome art thief. He presents her with a gloopy glop glassful of shocking green viscous mystery sludge.
It is her favorite! How did he know?! Her heart is his.
The Sweet Kale Shake
at SunCafe is the my version of that.
Radioactively green, frozen to a state of thick creamy slush, and unbelievably
delicious. Kale, banana, nut milk, and agave a whirred in a Vitamix (the
bad-assiest of blenders) until the texture of a milkshake. The mightiest
milkshake you’ll ever have. Drinking this is like drinking liquid health
through a straw, says me. Many, many days, it has cured what ailed me and let me
start a day fresh, even if I myself was not, after a night of one too many of many different things.
Why, SunCafe! It is my favorite. How did you know?! My heart
is yours!
Then:
I have catalogued for you my addiction to coffee.
While I have been involved with coffee for a long time now,
my relationship with beer is much more recent. I have always been a classic
wine girl. I know that most reds will make me happy, and I am rarely prompted
to investigate further. I choose wine by the cleverness of the name, and by the
sense of humor used when crafting the label. A cartoon grape in aviator goggles
flying a plane? I’m drinking that. It’s not classy, but it is tasty. And
hilaaaaarious.
Ironic, isn’t it, that the beer that would break the barrier
for me was a coffee stout?
I love Tony’s Darts
Away for a lot of reasons. It has the dive-bar feel, without the actual
dive-bar build up of anonymous sticky on the floors or the self-mocking popcorn
machine full of stale wet yellow crunch in the corner. It’s a cool joint, and
their menu is half vegan, half non, and all delicious. It’s the most
legitimately delicious bar food you may ever find.
When I threw down for the Speedway Coffee Stout, it was to wash down a beef hot dog with cheddar cheese
and tangy apple slaw. My youzsh. It seemed to me almost more of a dessert than
anything else. Inches of sweet creamy white foam, a bitter and bracing smooth
brew sitting below. The whole thing a drunken drinkable frosted cake of
wonderful. I drained that sucker, and had another. And beer became a thing I
seek out, crave, and enjoy regularly. And since Tony’s has 38 on tap, if I ever
want to branch out, I can.
When I walked into Café de Leche for the first time and ordered the Horchata con Espresso, it was because a good friend told me to. I rarely mess with my coffee order, and if you would like an anthropological study of my life in relation to it, it can be found here.
I love trying new things, but I tend to resist change when
it comes to pre-determined entities. Honey Nut Cheerios are amazing. Don’t add
extra fiber. I know I can’t taste it, but it bothers me that it’s even there. Cheetos
are a perfect food, don’t make them “Hot.” When all McFlurry’s everywhere
started sucking, I was fit to be tied. Don’t mess with a good thing. So I was starting this journey cranky.
What happened next?
As I set my empty Horchata Con Espresso cup down,
having drained it first-night-as-a-cat Selena Kyle style (Michelle
Pfieffer, folks), it happened. I looked around to the people for whom this is
simply their neighborhood coffee shop, reading papers, and checking phones. I
pointed with a long arm to the empty cup, my pink lipstick crescent on the side
confirming my lusty interaction with this beverage. And in what I refer to as a
“modified stage whisper,” I said: “That Is The Best Coffee Drink I Have Ever
Had!”
I said it to a whole room of people who absolutely without a
doubt could not care less. Because most of these Highland Parkers can have this
beverage whenever they want! They might even be in walking distance!! They
probably have it several times a week! It’s the best coffee drink I have ever
had! They don’t care! I’d better stop shouting and get out of here before they
kick me out! I’d like to see them try! Guess that espresso kicked in!
The object of my explanation point is a cuppa Stumptown
Coffee Roasters espresso, swirled with warm rice milk and cinnamon. It was
handed to me needing absolutely nothing.
Not a packet of raw sugar, not a bit more milk. Nothing. It’s just a perfect
creamy sweet concoction, that also delivers the necessary caffeine kick. It’s
as though someone accidentally made you your perfect cup of coffee,the one you've never actually had before. And now you know what
your perfect cup of coffee is.
There you have it, my 3 favorite thinks to guzzle in Los Angeles
Listen, have three or four tall coffee stouts tonight, wake
up with the horchata con espresso tomorrow, and save your hungover day with the
kale shake. What I have given you is a map.
Because sometimes the Holy Grail is
the least be-dazzled one of them all.
SunCafe
3711 Cahuenga Blvd.
Studio City, CA 91604
Tony's Darts Away
1710 Magnolia Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91506
Cafe de Leche
5000 York Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90042
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