Thursday, April 25, 2013

Salvation on Wheels

I visited the Holy Aioli truck on a day that smelled of sunshine and garlic. I got a crunchy on the outside, ooozey on the inside, pungently perfect sandwich. And I ate that sandwich, and the accompanying truffle fries, in front of a bank of windows at the Wilshire location of LA Fitness.
 
The only thing I appreciate more than truffle fries is irony.
 
So here are a few minutes of sweet, sweet irony for you. With music.

 
 
 If you wish to visit the truck digitally, before visiting it physically, you can do that here.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Shot Heard Round The World


The first oyster shooter I ever did was at 11:06 in the morning. I have absolutely NEVER had an oyster for breakfast before, and I have certainly not had vodka before noon since college.

For a significant chunk of adulthood years, breakfast for me has arrived predictably lacquered with syrup, or topped with an appropriately pre-day egg; varied in its preparation, but consistent in its asymmetry.

In Los Angeles, my favorite food truck breakfast was an order of pancake tacos, and before that, in Chicago a platter of tart lingonberry flapjacks softened the blow of an arctic brunch expedition.

But I was standing in anticipation and a pair of boots a couple of weeks ago, at the Charleston Wine and Food Festival watching as a chipper stranger assembled an unlikely morning sip (slosh?) ((slurp?))

On behalf of the Charleston City Paper, into a shot glass went a reflective swell of oyster, freshly ejected from the St. Jude Farm shell in which it had spent its sheltered youth. Topped with a bit of Charleston Mix bloody mary mixer, and an inch of ice cold vodka, it was a tiny parfait of flavors. I took the shot in a swallow and a half (it’s been a while, remember), and experienced them all. Salinity, earthy ripe tomato essence, and the trail of sear left down your throat by a straight sip of vodka.

I tried for a long time after this to think of the perfect way to explain an oyster. Before I got there, I found a quote that made my struggles null and void.
 
“To eat an oyster is to kiss the ocean on the lips.”
 
So apparently someone named Leonard Beck beat me to it. But that shall not stop me from going back for kiss after kiss.
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Bacon Caramel Cheesecake. That Is What This Moment Requires.


Cheesecake is the little black dress of desserts. It is a go-to, a default, guaranteed by the FDIC up to the amount of $250,000 to be awesome. But its reliable glory is also its greatest downfall. It can be found in neat cubes, chopped out of its circular mothership in order to serve the needs of a paper-lined grocery store sampler platter. Wobbly wedges of it are served at awkward Christmas parties and interminable baby showers, glossed with Technicolor fruit topping, and studded with candy buckshot.

At its best, it retains the tang of the cream cheese (and sometimes sour cream) that comprises it. The fluffy interior, snowy white and creamy cold, rests atop a golden graham cracker disc bound with butter.

I recall fondly a favorite franchise comfort dish of my college years-the reluctantly prepared and insouciantly named chimicheesecake. Along the lines of a pancake taco, or a peanut butter banana bacon sandwich, this was the sort of thing that would be created in the amber haze of a hangover, throwing every edible thing within reach into the microwave and hoping that once in your stomach, it will soak up the remainder of last night’s liquid poor judgement. Essentially a slice of cheesecake deep-fried and served up chimichanga style, the chimicheesecake stands alone.

Little black dress of desserts? I can be found zipped into a black dress 99% of the time when a night out is involved. And 99% of the time, if cheesecake is on the menu, I will order it-fully aware that it shall make zipping that dress up ever again a bit more difficult. Just like the dress, cheesecake relies heavily on accessories...

Remember when Angelina Jolie wore a black dress with a slit to the Oscars and the world went crazy, and bottles of champagne exploded on shelves, and her right leg had its own twitter account within minutes? Well I experienced that this weekend. In cheesecake form, natch.

The Dulce Truck is a fluffy pink poodle of a thing, a puffball kitten sitting amongst the serious machinery of trucks and tires and tread.
 
 
I spent the better part of one second deciding what I would order. It was listed without fanfare on the chalkboard menu, but I knew right away that it was an Angelina-right-leg-twitter-account moment.

Vanilla Bean Cheesecake with Caramel and Bacon.

FLASHBULBS.
 
 
I was standing in line at another truck in Francis Marion park in Charleston, but really I wasn’t there at all. From the moment it was handed to me, I was wholly devoted to this cheesecake, its top a mirror of caramel, adorned with oversized bacon confetti. It is the swankiest thing you will ever eat off of a plastic fork. It is the most luxurious bite you can take while standing in line. It’s Angelina Jolie in plastic weight loss pants and crocs.

This cheesecake is a three story establishment, and the architecture of each level is without flaw. The foundation is creamy smooth, freckled with vanilla seeds-cold to the touch, but warm on the tongue. The caramel pool on top is not overly sweet, and provides a sticky surface to hold the salty crunch of bacon tiles until you can get it into your mouth.

At a food truck event a few weeks later, with my friends over at www.foodmancingthegirl.com, I suggested, nay demanded that they too tour all three floors of this cheesecake from The Dulce Truck.
 
 
And they did! And I did again! And it was the loveliest of days, and we laughed and laughed. That is what this cheesecake will do to your day.
 
It will make you forget the things that irritate you.
 
Like the fact that I know that my dress zipper has a twitter parody account about me. I KNOW it.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Meats of The Southern Wild


PulledPork is a powerful thing. And with great power comes great responsibility.

To the People.

The PulledPork People.

So: ME (and you)

Take a look at the Sharpie hieroglyphics marking the side of any nearby Starbucks cup and it’s clear. We want what we want, and DON’T MESS with it.

I’m saucy. I’m a saucy lady. I like a well-bolognesed pasta, a drowned enchilada, and I like my PulledPork in a Puddle. A smoky sweet puddle of liquid courage: BBQ sauce.
 
Once upon a time, I was not given sauce with an order of dumplings. It did not end well.

http://thefoodessfiles.blogspot.com/2010/08/sauciers-apprentice.html

The regional differences regarding BBQ ingredients and technique is well documented.

Not by me. By them: http://gardenandgun.com/gallery/bbq-sandwiches

Travel through five different states, get five different approaches to BBQ.

I remember when Goode Co. BBQ was a shakety-shack in Houston in the early 90’s, cranking out sloppy piles of sauce-swaddled animal lunch. It was a city secret then, with a parking lot seemingly made of dust into which shiny Mercedes and Beamers would nestle. Inside were the businessmen and women of the city, dress shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow, silk ties tucked between buttons or thrown over shoulders.

Hands that moved millions with the stroke of a key, ran the city’s banks, businesses, and bottom lines were taking a lunch break at that moment to manhandle a soft-bunned PulledPork with Pickles.

I love change! Until you change something. Remake Psycho? I cannot even make eye contact with you. I refuse to acknowledge any Catwoman after Michelle Pfieffer. Thank god I never watched Felicity-the haircut would have killed me. Change is good, until it is not.

The Hello My Name Is BBQ has no idea what a Molotov cocktail of change it is to my PulledPork memory database. To that very first sloppy bite of Goode Co. BBQ, drowning in sauce. Just look at it sitting there. A cat among the pigeons…

 


The Holy City is decreed in chalk to be beer braised pork BBQ on grilled brioche. I read it and scanned the available extras. I raised my “ok coleslaw is new for me on a PulledPork, but keep an open mind Frances” eyebrow (the left one) crossed my arms across my chest in a classic Frances “pickles might be a deal breaker” gesture. I am a purist. A divider plate girl.

I am handed my paper-nested sandwich and instantly make a snap judgement. Decidedly NOT saucy. I breathe through it. Change can be good. Change can be good.


I take my incendiary sandwich with me to sit on a blanket in the sun, ringed by people who eat food, know food, and write about food. Namely, the extraordinarily charming Charles and Emmy Powell, BBQ chronicler Dan Cassavaugh and the behatted rum drinker known in certain circles as Jed Portman.

Sometimes change arrives in the form of extremely uncharacteristic mint green nail polish. (Christmas 2012) Or forgiving Ben Affleck for Gigli, on accounta Argo and Gone Baby Gone being so damned good. And apparently, change happens on a sunny Saturday in a southern city, when after one full bite, and while chewing the second, you accept that a PulledPork sandwich with coleslaw and pickles is very, very good. And that you can accept coleslaw’s vinegary crunch, in place of a saucy slurp. And that, while perhaps you can’t totally reeeeeealllly taste the beer of the “beer braise,” you are really very happy to be eating this sandwich at this moment. It is a very good sandwich. And you are having a tremendously good time here.

 

NOTE: The Hello My Name Is BBQ Truck does indeed have a help-yourself shelf of on-the-thin-side squeeze bottle sauces, and I plan to take slightly more vigorous advantage of these next time.

 

Change is good. Life is change. Right, Ben Affleck?
 
NOTE 2: Additionally, a not-so-saucy BBQ experience does mean that you can wear a cream-colored sweater to a BBQ with confidence. Silver. Lining.